Embracing Discomfort: The Path to True Presence and Healing

I grew up in a busy, high-achieving family, and despite my own accomplishments, I never felt good enough or truly at ease in my skin. I remember constantly filling my schedule, avoiding any unstructured time because the stillness felt unbearable. Whenever I had even a moment of downtime, anxiety would creep in. I didn’t know what to do with myself, which led me to cope through binge eating and over-exercising. The underlying truth was that I didn’t know how to simply be with myself.

This struggle is not uncommon in our culture. We live in a society that glorifies grind culture—where constant productivity and achievement are seen as the ideal. Rest, presence, and self-acceptance are undervalued, while distractions and numbing behaviors are normalized. We avoid facing our flaws and shadows, even though these are actually what make us most human. It makes sense how we got here—staying busy shields us from the discomfort of confronting our deeper pain, our tender and vulnerable parts.

Recently, I had a therapeutic experience where I was confronted with an extremely painful feeling. It was unlike anything I have ever faced. I tried everything to distract myself, to numb, to avoid the discomfort, but it persisted. It made me realize, on an embodied level, why I—and so many others—gravitate toward constant motion, distraction, and numbing. When we’re busy performing at work, staying socially engaged, or numbing with alcohol, TV, or social media, we protect ourselves from feeling the raw pain of being human. We all have parts of ourselves that feel terrifying or uncomfortable to face, and other parts working relentlessly to keep us from that discomfort.

But the thing is, if we never allow ourselves to get familiar with discomfort, we also limit our capacity to fully experience the goodness of life. We cannot selectively numb emotions. As Brené Brown wisely says, “When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” If we avoid pain, we also dull our ability to feel joy, love, and connection in their fullest forms. Once I opened myself up to the discomfort and pain I was experiencing, after some sobs and screams, my body softened, and I could feel my heart opening to compassion and love.

One of the beautiful aspects of working from an Internal Family Systems (IFS) lens is that it helps people become acquainted with their different parts and understand the roles these parts have played in their lives. IFS invites presence and embodiment—it encourages you to connect with your felt sense in the moment and explore what is truly present. When people begin to feel safe and grounded in their bodies, they learn that even in moments of discomfort, they have the capacity to hold it. They realize they will be okay.

I feel deeply called to help people cultivate this groundedness and presence within themselves. My work is about supporting others in slowing down, in feeling themselves fully, and in embracing life in all its depth. Because when we stop running from ourselves, we open up to the fullness of who we are—and that is where true healing and freedom begin!

If you're looking for more ways to slow down and explore different parts of yourself, I invite you to check out my monthly Somatic Cacao Circles, or contact me about 1-1 support.